Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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