I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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