mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
