But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
