so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
