her vagine was all disorganized.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
