No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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