drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
