do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
