I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
