Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
