It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
