i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
