Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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