yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
