i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
