I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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