I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
