I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
