before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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