how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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