People in love make me want to vomit
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
