i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't deserve a penis
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
