my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
