White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize