wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
