Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
