so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize