I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
