you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
