You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
