I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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