I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
