This is not my ceiling
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize