I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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