I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
