Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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