Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize