i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize