4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
