I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
