But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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