My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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