Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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