You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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