roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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