Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
