Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
