Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
