My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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