I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
