just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
