I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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