I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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