Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
