Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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