I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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