I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize