They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
