I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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